Sunday, August 10, 2008

Why I Am Voting Democrat

I'm voting Democrat because: I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
I'm voting Democrat because: I believe I need to pay more in taxes so that the federal government can give more to those who have no desire to work for a living.
I'm voting Democrat because: I believe three or four pointy headed elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.
I'm voting Democrat because: I believe oil companies' profits of 10% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 18% isn't.
I'm voting Democrat because: I believe that paying $4.00 a gallon or more is no reason to drill for the mountain of oil we are sitting on in THIS country.
I'm voting Democrat because: I want the Islamo-Fascist terrorist who want all nonbelievers (Infidels) converted to Islam or killed, to be just like us and want to drive $50,000 SUV's just like we do.
I'm voting Democrat because: I want the repressive dictators of Iran, Syria, China, North Korea, Russia and Venezuela to respect America.
I'm voting Democrat because: Freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it (politically correct).
I'm voting Democrat because: I don't want to eat poison food, breathe polluted air and drink dirty water. We all know Republicans love that stuff!
I'm voting Democrat because: When someone breaks into my house to rob me, I don't want to have any guns in the house to fight them off with.
I'm voting Democrat because: I believe that business should NOT be allowed to make profits. They need to break even and give the rest away to the employees.
I'm voting Democrat because: I don't want Doctors who were at the top of their classes to make decisions regarding my healthcare, I want a government employee who makes $30k a year make that decision for the doctor.
I'm voting Democrat because: I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN in fact tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.
I'm voting Democrat because: I believe that the military is a bunch of badly behaved men and women who are hell bent on killing and just want to blow things up.
I'm voting Democrat because: I believe that universal healthcare coverage is not Socialized Medicine.
I'm voting Democrat because: I'm all for CHANGE!


Greg-Paul said...

Man, ignorance is bliss.

Regardless if you're left or right, there's no room for blatant lies.

Meagan said...

WOW! Most of this post is just ridiculous. Seriously, did a crack-head write this? I know there are extremists on both sides of the isle, and those extreme opinions can be picked on, but COME ON! The person who penned this is TOTALLY ignorant. Yeesh!

Anonymous said...

Hi Gamer Gal. I'm a liberal (or Value-Less American as I'm on Fox News). I actually thought it was pretty funny. I have some problems with the accuracy of course. ;)
For your consideration, I found a similar list.

I'm voting Republican because being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and
you need our prayers for your recovery.

I'm voting Republican because Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

I'm voting Republican because "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

I'm voting Republican because a woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions
affecting all mankind without regulation.

I'm voting Republican because Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of
homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

I'm voting Republican because the best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

I'm voting Republican because group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

I'm voting Republican because if condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

I'm voting Republican because a good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

I'm voting Republican because HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

I'm voting Republican because providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

I'm voting Republican because global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

I'm voting Republican because Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

I'm voting Republican because a president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

I'm voting Republican because Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

I'm voting Republican because the public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

I'm voting Republican because what Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

I'm voting Republican because trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.